I'll be honest, the thought didn't exactly thrill me. I mean, I'm happy as I am. Don't feel I need another person to 'complete me.' The term 'other half' makes for cringeworthy images of only being half a person until you meet 'TheOne.'
But, reservations aside; I've been giving it a go (kind of). And today, I decided to stop.
"Why" you may ask.
Well. It takes me a lot to like someone. It's a pretty rare thing for me to actually want to be with someone, or even give it a shot. But last weekend, I found myself on a date with someone pretty awesome....pretty awesome and also a commitment phobe (who knew!). So to ensure none of you lovely #Bbloggers end up (almost) sobbing in front of a guy like some kind of desparado, I've created a unique checklist to spot the traits of the most unfortunate of male types you could deign to date. This is a pretty raw time to be writing up my latest dating experience but I needed to get it out there and I hope you like it/get it. ENJOY!
THE COMMITMENT PHOBE
Has a brilliant social life
Is charming, fun and makes you feel the most important person (for a short time at least).
Has been hurt before (hell, haven't we all?!)
Does and says all the right things to put your insecurites to rest: "I don't think I've EVER got on with someone this well - it feels I've known you forever!!"
Does all the running to get you out on a date: "...must be keen!"
Makes grand gestures about his feelings for you being 'so unexpected'.....but only when he's had a drink.
Asks you out during date: "I don't want you to date anyone else...can we make it official but take it slow?" which puts you at ease EVEN though you think it's far too soon for a relationship (at least he's not just after one thing, right?)
WRONG: You'll sleep with him because, well, all of the above, and he'll carry on the 'we're in a relationship but taking it slow' pretence well into the next day (and beyond!).
Starts cooling it with you a few days in, yet even though you give him an out of the 'relationship' many times, he maintains his position (nice!).
Hopes you'll respect his honesty when he finally decides to tell you (somewhere public, whilst out with his mates) that actually he just got 'carried away with it all' and actually can't quite see where this is going: "I'm just not ready for a full blown relationship" is a classic line, but seems a little 'horse, stable, door, bolted' when you've already decided to give it a go (and besides...thought we were taking it slow?! Doh).
Humiliates you further by telling you that he 'had an awesome night and would love to do it again, and I generally enjoy meeting new people and doing this!" Um.....what? Enjoy telling people you don't actually want to be with that you want to be with them? Or luring people into false sense of security so they give up the goodies?!
Can make even the most toughest of cookies well up with self-pity and humiliation tears after their 'honesty speech.' (At the point you feel the tears rising, you need to get out of there).
Won't follow you as you leave so don't expect him to (he has his mates and footy on inside, remember).
Tells his mates that he 'had a word with you, and you fled in tears!' (even though, actually, you held it together pretty well!)
Finally: This person will make you feel more rubbish than any annoying (but nice) hipster or comic nerd; because you let your guard down, and they've reminded you of all the reasons WHY you don't want to be with anyone. On top of all this, you feel pretty cheap, and thought you were smart enough by now to see through the commitment phobe.
The only advice I have to deal with this guy/girl is to ignore them. Whilst a blog post or writing in a diary is a great way to vent feelings, it's definitely not worth even acknowledging them or calling them out on their behaviour, because ultimately it actually isn't their fault; they just can't deal with 'labels' (and that's fine, because neither can most of us!).
For now I am having a few days off work, because I have sobbed so much I look chinese, and have a big puffy blowfish face :-/
For the time being, dating is definitely off the cards for little old me. Need some Cassie advice, a huge bar of Galaxy and a relaxing facial to get me feeling back to, well, me....
Until next time
Scarlett
xoxox
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