The non-date phenomenon

Whilst Cassie has been embracing the transvestive luvvy nightlife over Chrstmas, I have had another one of 'those' weekends involving the non-cross dressing male species.

It goes a little something like this:
Last weekend I stated categorically (can't lie...it's all in the blog) that I was DONE with dating for the time being.  My poor eyes could not take any more humiliation tears and my ears were sick of listening to Muse.

What I forgot to tell you lovely #Bbloggers was that, in fact, during my (embarassingly) short lived 'relationship' with fellow commitment phobe (whom I am now in a comfortable friend zone with) I actually commited a cardinal relationship sin and gave out my number to another guy!
Now, before you unfollow in disgust and slam shut the laptop....let me just try and redeem myself by telling you that
a) I AM a commitment phobe and
b) I genuinely just thought he was someone I could be friends with (I have tonnes of male friends I met in this random manner - I do!!)

So I gave my digits out with no more thought to it, and a few days later I received a text from this guy; let's call him Tom.
We got along on text, all the right 'banter' was there, and I felt my intellectual tick box was, well, ticked.  I also remember pointing at him before he spoke to me and my (impossibly pretty) sister shouting "He looks like Harry Styles!"
So a casual meet up was arranged for Saturday, and I literally put so little thought into it all that I ended up roaming the city prior to this wearing a red tartan skirt and a seriously mis-matched christmas jumper (but who cares...it wasn't a date, right?)

Plus, one BIG deciding factor in my head that this couldn't possibly be an actual date was that, at 19, he was 10 years my junior!  So unless he was some weird cougar hunter I was safe.
I waited in my chosen pub with a glass of (foul) mulled wine, without any nerves or preconceptions.

When he walked in, I saw that actually, he was just as cute as I remembered (still stopping myself from thinking anything more than 'I want to put you in my pocket and just carry you around!'

To cut a long story short and save you from the kind of dialogue I myself detest as a big fat pessimist when it comes to the mushy stuff; I had a GREAT time!  It only occured to me when he gave me his coat to wear when I got cold (classic) and put his arms round me, that this may actually be a date!

Funnily enough the fact I hadn't thought it would or could be made me totally at ease.  And when he kissed me before I left for babysitting duties that evening it felt quite surreal.
We sat in Cafe Nerro and did what I love most on a lazy Saturday: People watching.  It's like a catwalk of crazy and 'seriously, did she get dressed in the dark?!'  Tom also pointed out a few potential 'serial killers' which made me attractively snort white chocolate mocha out of my nose and onto my tartan skirt.

So, what's happening next for me and Tom?  Well, let's just say a second date was arranged within an hour of meeting, and we will be hosting a Christmas jumper making contest (see previous blog for the inspiration) and making mulled wine from  scratch at his!

It's all lovely, cute and pretty perfect right now....but don't worry, I'm old enough and ugly enough to be on my guard a little.  But hey, it is Christmas after all, and maybe sometimes us commitment phobes have to throw away the checklist and just let it happen.

Before I bid you all farewell, let me just add that (rest assured) I will keep you updated with this one!  And a huge shout out to 'Tom' for giving permission to me to write this....see, how cool is that?!  (he may regret if all goes belly up!)

Till next time
(feeling that Xmas spirit)
Scarlett
xoxox

#CassieNightOut = WOW

So this weekend I had my annual Tranny night out in Bristol with a good friend of mine who also dabbles in the art of dressing as a woman for no other reason other than to look fabulous. I refer to her as Miss X as she is someone who is very secretive about herself alter ego and real life persona. Much like myself, I prefer to keep them far apart as not to cause unnecessary problems.

Anyway Miss X and I (Cassie) have been to Bristol to meet up with other "T Girls" for the past 2 years. This being the 3rd time I felt comfortable and excited to completely leave my male self at home and venture out as Cassie without any worries about work the following week etc etc.
First off Me and Miss X had a little road trip to the hotel and it was a strange trip as it was pretty much 2 guys talking about Mandela, The Football, Ps4 and what heels we had to wear out that night. We even had Miss X's wife (yes she is married with a 5 year old) on the phone saying Miss X had left behind her eyelash curler!. Listening to Miss X talk to her wife about such thing reminded me how little people know about Crossdressers and some Transvestites. I will get back to this later.

Anyway after hours of driving we got to the Hotel, hit the pub for food and pints and checked into the room. The last time the staff will see 2 men enter that room, as the next few hours was like the back stage area of a fashion show. Clothes were flung about, make up tried and tested and removed and reapllied. I wish we were filmed as watched 2 Men, who in my opinion look no different to any other average joe on the street, getting all dragged up and transforming into women is beautiful to watch.

I have been told I resemble Sandra Bullock when dressed as Cassie and Miss X looks increbibly like Holly Willoughby! Seriously She looks ten times better than me, She is beautiful.

So at about 8pm we were ready. We has a Taxi picking us up and we exited the Hotel to some glances from the staff that we laughed off as we had already had a few drinks. The taxi driver didnt batter an eyelid as Me and Miss X sat in the back talking to a friend on the phone who was waiting for us at the venue.

Now this venue is "T Girl" friendly. It is a well established gay hotspot too. Again I have said before I am not a gay man but I have a lot of gay/bisexual friends. It was lovely to see so many familar faces of Transvestites and Transexuals that I have met online over the years.
I was constantly complimented on my dress and legs which is always nice to hear. The night was a riot. Lots of drinking, dancing and chatting commenced.

This was all nearly ruined thanks to a group of football lads who decided to gatecrash the party and act all insecure in their own sexuality. 3 years ago I would have cried and ran from these lads in intimiadation but not friday night. These 4 guys began a fight with some of the T Girls outside the bar which only got nasty when the entire venue turned on these bullies and chased them away from the place. That was the end of it. Or so I thought.

At around 3am Me and Miss X, slightly worse for wear but still looking glamourous, headed to the nearest kebab shop where suprise suprise 2 of the bullies was standing. Looking off his face he spotted us and started hurling abuse from a distance. Now I kept my cool and carried on walking to the taxi rank, but Miss X was having none of it and before I could say "Luis Vuitton" she was confronting the guy and pushing him up against the wall. Now this could have gone badly and sprawled into a big fight but Bristol being a lovely place, a group of girls came over and stuck up for us and once again this bully left sheepishly.

It was nice to see a group of young girls stick up for strangers, expsecially men in a dress, and we all had a laugh at the taxi rank as they were very interested in our life choice. We posed for pics with the girls and no doubt I'll be getting facebook requests from them soon.

Me and Miss X headed back to the hotel and carried on drinking till 7am.! Spent most of Saturday suffering and headed back home in the longest car journey ever! OH and to top the night off, I lost my phone! which isn't a major deal but if anybody finds it, they will find some very strange Male to Female photos on there!

There is more to discuss on my night out, but my head still hurts I can't remember it.

Thanks for reading
Cassie xox

The Christmas Jumper Challenge

So,  today I enter my place of work armed with all intents and purpose of ‘Christmas-izing my colleagues with my loud, cheesy Christmas jumper.

But what went wrong??

I mean sure, I’ve had the odd wink, thumbs up, even a few ‘nice jumper’ comments from a few of the predatory men in my office.  (Let’s face it though, these are the guys who would compliment me on a nice pair of socks).

But it wasn’t enough for me.  Being the attention seeking, outrageous character I turn into during casual Friday at work; I like to stand out from the crowd…..and when the majority of said crowd are also wearing Christmas jumpers which are disappointingly on par with the outrageousness of mine I find it a little, well, outrageous.

So I’ve decided to up the ante.  This weekend I will be customizing my otherwise ordinary jumper and turning it into a festive freak show to delight and inspire people from all over the world (of Christian descent of course) into loving Christmas (and my jumper) – equally.

Being a dab hand with a knitting needle and thread (who knew, the girl can sew!) I’m thinking a makeshift felt tree, baubles sewn across my front and back (so that with a coat on over I resemble the hunchback, sides and front of Notre Dame), some fake snow bobbles, maybe even a sewn on recording device that shouts out Noddy Holder’s famous line “It’s Chriiistmassssss’”every time I press it..

Anyhow, my challenge has been set, and tomorrow (that’s Saturday folks) I will be embarking on a quest to buy lots of cheap and cheerful bits and pieces to bring my dream jumper to life.

The best bit is, I’m stopping over at my sister’s in the evening to perform saintly babysitting duties, so will keep the little blighters busy by setting them an ‘arts and craft’ project before bed time whilst I delegate tasks!  

“Right, you…careful with that tinsel now….” (Welcome to the Christmas work house kids!)

I am an amazing auntie, and pretty soon, people will see me coming down the street and say:  “She looks like Christmas.”

Bless.

I’d love to hear about your Xmas jumpers this year….and I’ll be sure to post up some images of my design!!

Till next time

Scarlett

xoxo

Because at Christmas...you tell the truth!

Here's what I love about Xmas in no particular order:

Snow...or rather the anticipation that it might, might just snow
Christmas jumpers, hats, socks, slippers and (of course) cosy onesie times
Mulled wine on a cold night
The works Xmas do...LOVE the whole thing (especially the free wine!)
The German Christmas food markets....mmmmm!
Ice skating, or even just thinking about ice skating
Xmas shopping!!
Friendships just seem to get better and better this time of year, because it's all about being with the folk that make you smile....awww.

And, just to even the terms for all you Xmas grinches; here is what I (begrudgingly) hate about Xmas time:

The busy-ness of town ALL THE TIME.  Boots is an absolute no-go until at least February.
The amount of weight I put on indulging in all that tasty food
The bitter cold wind that literally takes your breath away
The smug married couples whom wander round snugly and smugly holding hands whilst doing absolutely every christmassy activity  (how, tell me HOW one manages to hold 10 billion shopping bags whilst holding hands!)
The fact that PDA's seem to be everywhere (they probably aren't, but us single folk notice it and silently pretend we don't care whilst weeping into mulled wine)
It is the only time of year I actually want someone special in my life to do that whole 'running in the snow and grand gesture stuff' with!  (can't I just have it over Christmas and have summer to myself?!)

So there you have it folks.  I am secretly a mushy, romantic female in the body of a hopeless commitment phobe.  I'd love to tell you how that works...but it doesn't of course, which is why I am blogging about it!
(plus, let's face it, if I did ever manage to meet my match you wouldn't be able to read about all my 'dramatic' exploits!)

Till next time

Thanks for reading

Scarlett
xoxox

Are YOU a commitment phobe?

So, I've blogged about how to know when you're dating a commitment phobe, but the post got me to thinking; what are commitment phobes actually like?

After compiling a few thoughts (both my own and from across the web) i realised that, whilst I may have dated one...I am actually one myself! (Pot, kettle, black anyone!?).

See how you measure up in the commitment stakes with my handy (and insightful!) checklist:

HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE A COMMITMENT PHOBE:

You have a long and elaborate mental list of requirements for your ideal partner (but nobody quite matches up to your impossibly high standards).

You go from one short lived 'fling' to the next.

You have a habit of dating 'unavailable' people

You back out of plans at the last minute and have trouble setting a time for dates. (how about Wednesday...no Thursday).

You cultivate large networks of friends at the expense of a single romantic relationship.

You have a lot of relationship trauma in your past.

You sometimes feel emotionally unstable and can't deal with more than one thing at a time (a relationship is always the first thing to go!).

Your career is very important to you and you often choose work over relationships (rationalisation: Work pays me, relationships break my heart).

You constantly blow hot and cold with dates.

You fall quickly for people but it is short lived.

You mock people that are in happy relationships, seeing them as 'trapped' rather than content.

You get scared the minute someone you're dating tries to put a label on 'your relationship' as being, well, a relationship (but you'd probably carry on seeing them if you knew there wasn't going to be any pressure).

You have warped ideas of marriage being like a fairy tale and can't comprehend the mundane elements of being with someone forever (Bills, kids, late nights, early mornings....pah)

On the rare occasion you do open up to someone; if they hurt you, it feels devestating (not just because you liked them so much but because you let your guard down!).

The idea of falling for someone fills you with fear!

So....are YOU a commitment phobe like little old me?  i'd love to hear your thoughts!

Until next time

Scarlett

xoxo

You know you're dating a commitment phobe when....

As you all know, I have been given the gentle nudge into trying to date again.

I'll be honest, the thought didn't exactly thrill me.  I mean, I'm happy as I am.  Don't feel I need another person to 'complete me.'  The term 'other half' makes for cringeworthy images of only being half a person until you meet 'TheOne.'

But, reservations aside; I've been giving it a go (kind of).  And today, I decided to stop.
"Why" you may ask.
Well.   It takes me a lot to like someone.  It's a pretty rare thing for me to actually want to be with someone, or even give it a shot.  But last weekend, I found myself on a date with someone pretty awesome....pretty awesome and also a commitment phobe  (who knew!).  So to ensure none of you lovely #Bbloggers end up (almost) sobbing in front of a guy like some kind of desparado, I've created a unique checklist to spot the traits of the most unfortunate of male types you could deign to date.  This is a pretty raw time to be writing up my latest dating experience but I needed to get it out there and I hope you like it/get it.  ENJOY!

THE COMMITMENT PHOBE

Has a brilliant social life

Is charming, fun and makes you feel the most important person (for a short time at least).

Has been hurt before (hell, haven't we all?!)

Does and says all the right things to put your insecurites to rest: "I don't think I've EVER got on with someone this well - it feels I've known you forever!!" 

Does all the running to get you out on a date:  "...must be keen!"

Makes grand gestures about his feelings for you being 'so unexpected'.....but only when he's had a drink.

Asks you out during date: "I don't want you to date anyone else...can we make it official but take it slow?" which puts you at ease EVEN though you think it's far too soon for a relationship (at least he's not just after one thing, right?)

WRONG: You'll sleep with him because, well, all of the above, and he'll carry on the 'we're in a relationship but taking it slow' pretence well into the next day (and beyond!).

Starts cooling it with you a few days in, yet even though you give him an out of the 'relationship' many times, he maintains his position (nice!).

Hopes you'll respect his honesty when he finally decides to tell you (somewhere public, whilst out with his mates) that actually he just got 'carried away with it all' and actually can't quite see where this is going:  "I'm just not ready for a full blown relationship" is a classic line, but seems a little 'horse, stable, door, bolted' when you've already decided to give it a go (and besides...thought we were taking it slow?!  Doh).

Humiliates you further by telling you that he 'had an awesome night and would love to do it again, and I generally enjoy meeting new people and doing this!"  Um.....what?  Enjoy telling people you don't actually want to be with that you want to be with them?  Or luring people into false sense of security so they give up the goodies?!

Can make even the most toughest of cookies well up with self-pity and humiliation tears after their 'honesty speech.'  (At the point you feel the tears rising, you need to get out of there).

Won't follow you as you leave so don't expect him to (he has his mates and footy on inside, remember).

Tells his mates that he 'had a word with you, and you fled in tears!' (even though, actually, you held it together pretty well!)

Finally:  This person will make you feel more rubbish than any annoying (but nice) hipster or comic nerd; because you let your guard down, and they've reminded you of all the reasons WHY you don't want to be with anyone.  On top of all this, you feel pretty cheap, and thought you were smart enough by now to see through the commitment phobe.

The only advice I have to deal with this guy/girl is to ignore them.  Whilst a blog post or writing in a diary is a great way to vent feelings, it's definitely not worth even acknowledging them or calling them out on their behaviour, because ultimately it actually isn't their fault; they just can't deal with 'labels' (and that's fine, because neither can most of us!).

For now I am having a few days off work, because I have sobbed so much I look chinese, and have a big puffy blowfish face :-/  

For the time being, dating is definitely off the cards for little old me.  Need some Cassie advice, a huge bar of Galaxy and a relaxing facial to get me feeling back to, well, me....

Until next time

Scarlett

xoxox

Leg Envy!

So tonight I settled down to watch I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here NOW, The Spin off Show after the main show, and as I was watching it I just couldn't keep my eyes off a certain pair of legs on show.
Laura Whitmore! This girl has the most amazing legs I have ever seen, I mean she can literally pull off any type of outfit that shows off her legs.

Being a man, I am fond of ladies legs. But as a Cross-dressing Man, I am also envious of them. I will be honest and say that many people who have seen me in full Cassie Get up have commented on my slender, feminine legs and I LOVE that. I still get envious of legs on a lot of women (and some men) on a daily basis.

I personally spend a lot of time making my legs look and feel the best, regardless of whether I have to cover them up at work and during my normal male life. I moisturise and even tan them as well as keeping them smooth all year round. I have moved onto waxing them as shaving never gave me the right feel.

I remember when I first shaved my legs and the feeling I got from seeing them was immense. Ask any other Cross dresser and they will tell you the same thing. I find smooth legs to be one of the most feminine things ever. What I find hilarious is that a lot of ladies I talk to complain about keeping their legs smooth and it makes me smile the amount of effort I go through just to get them hidden daily compared to a lot of my natural girl friends who'd rather throw on some jeans to cover up their hairy legs.

So I guess this post was about legs. I love legs and like to keep mine smooth and moisturised. What products do you use to keep yours in good nick?

Thanks for reading
Cassie x